The Princess and the Pea
by lucy quinn fabray
Summary: Hermione once read Ron a fairy tale story from the Muggle world. He retells it with a spin. For your entertainment. Ron/Hermione and slight Harry/Ginny plus NG. One-shot.


_**Author's Note:**_

First I'd like to thank my IRL beta-reader, Julia. Many thanks to her! (:

Secondly, I think this as a companion story to my first R/HR story (The Princess and Her Prince). Not necessary to read, especially since it was written when I was new here (eep!)!

Lastly, the story is _Deathly Hallows_ compliant. J.K. Rowling still owns the Harry Potter universe and the characters here, of course.

For your entertainment, enjoy!

Loligo7687

_**Author's Note**_ (5/15/11):

Edited for spelling and grammar.

(: ~Lucy

**_Author's Note_** (8/30/12):

Story Cover added and was edited in Photoshop.

~Lucy

* * *

The Princess and the Pea

"Once upon a time, there was a royal family that ruled over the land of Ottery St. Catchpole. The Weasley lineage was an ancient and pure one; King Arthur Weasley had wed Queen Molly to become the next monarchal leader of their territory. The royal family had seven children: Prince William, Prince Charlie, Prince Percy, Princes Fred and George (the twins), Prince Ronald, and Princess Ginevra. Prince William liked to go by Bill; Prince Ronald by Ron; and Princess Ginevra by Ginny. They grew up happily in the castle together until the eldest sons began to marry and leave their family.

Prince Bill was the eldest son of the Weasleys. By birthright he was entitled to the crown when his father passed, but for now he commanded a small part of the territory his father ruled. He married the eldest daughter of the royal Delacours, Fleur, and immediately set out to claim his chunk of the kingdom. Bill and Fleur had three children: Victoire, Dominique, and Louis.

Prince Charlie chose to seek his fortunes elsewhere. Instead of claiming his piece of the land, he trained fruitlessly to become a master jouster to win prestige and his own fortunes in tournaments across the country. He was also interested in pursuing dragons.

Prince Percy married Princess Audrey, whom he met in London. He pursued a position in Parliament and became wealthy enough on his own to purchase his own land elsewhere. Percy and Audrey had two children: Molly and Lucy.

Prince Fred had passed away from a severe case of smallpox, and to this day, Queen Molly and her younger children mourned this loss. His twin brother George took his death the hardest.

Prince George took his piece of the land and married Princess Angelina Johnson. He sought to make sure that no disease would claim the lives of innocent people. George and Angelina had a son and a daughter: Fred and Roxanne.

Prince Ron recently reached the age where he could marry off and claim his inheritance. Princess Ginny was also in the position to marry. However, they had two entirely separate problems. Ron was willing to marry, but none of the princesses that visited his castle suited his fancy. Or rather, they were uninterested in _him_. Ginny had suitors from far and wide, vying for the land her father offered. She spurned each and every one of their advances. The men were silly and desperate and only wanted to marry her for the land and her beauty.

Princess Lavender Brown was trying to catch Ron's eye, but he was clearly uninterested in her. She stayed around their castle for long periods of time, but Ginny was losing her patience with the silly girl as well. Ginny herself was trying to rid Princes Dean and Michael from her sight too, but they were very persistent.

'Why do you spurn me, princess?' Dean asked one day, as Ginny bade him farewell. She shook her head.

'What are you really looking for?' she asked him.

'To win your favor, of course,' he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

'Not now, Prince Dean. Try again another day,' she replied, laughing. When her mother heard of the story, she wasn't laughing.

'Ginevra! You won't get married with that shrewdness of yours,' Queen Molly said, frowning.

'Mother, I want to marry for love. These suitors are uninterested in me, for all they want is the land my father offers for my marriage,' Ginny replied.

Queen Molly shook her head. 'Heavens, I haven't a clue what to do with you sometimes.'

She didn't know what to do with her youngest son either. 'Lavender is a nice girl, Ronald! Why do you not show her the same affection she shows you?' she asked.

'Because she's a silly little girl. I'd like a smarter lady, one who knows how to read and write properly,' Ron replied, shrugging. 'Lavender is much too clingy and airheaded.'

Queen Molly threw up her hands. 'They're never going to get married!' she wailed.

That all changed on one stormy night.

The King, Queen, Ron, and Ginny were all sitting and enjoying supper on a terrible and rainy night. A servant alerted the family of a visitor at the door and the King insisted on receiving this person caught in the storm. When he expected some sort of Prince to appear, a shivering girl was standing all alone. Her hair was abnormally bushy, her clothes were damp, and she looked nothing like royalty.

'I am sorry to bother you, but I hadn't expected the storm to be so terrible,' she said, offering him a curtsey in an attempt to make up for her interruption.

'Not at all, miss, I'll have the servants attend to you at once,' King Arthur said, calling his servants over. 'You can join us at supper when you're ready.'

She thanked him and followed the servants to get a new change in clothes.

'Who was that, dear?' Queen Molly asked when King Arthur returned to his seat.

'A girl, no older than Ronald,' he replied, resuming his meal. 'She got caught out in the storm.'

'Oh, how dreadful!' Queen Molly commented.

'I've arranged for her to get a change in clothes,' he replied.

Ron and Ginny exchanged looks. _This ought to be interesting_.

The mysterious girl was led down to supper and a fresh plate was placed in front of her. She ate the meal heartily.

'So, dear, what is your name?' Queen Molly asked.

'I'm Hermione Granger,' the girl said, pausing. 'I'm the only daughter of the royal Grangers.'

Queen Molly was instantly skeptical. First off, she hadn't heard of such a royal family. Secondly, she looked nothing like a princess. Her hair was extremely bushy and unmanageable and she had arrived all of the sudden during a rainstorm.

'Interesting,' she commented. 'What brings you in these parts?'

'Well,' Hermione said, confidently. 'I was visiting my cousin in these parts. Since I was unfamiliar with the landscape, I ended up horribly lost. And then the rainstorm started and I needed somewhere to stay.'

Queen Molly noticed the way Ron was looking at her. Her mind hatched a quick plan – she was going to insist her to sleep in the guest room. This had been the case for all the princesses that had married her other sons, if nobility had been an issue. To test this Hermione were if indeed a princess, she'd have her sleep on twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds with a single pea inserted inside the layers. If she felt the pea, then she was a princess. And hopefully she would marry her son Ron!

'Do you have a library?' Hermione asked, upon finishing her meal. Queen Molly nodded at once.

'Yes, we do,' she said. 'Ron, be a dear and show her?'

Ron immediately flushed red. He was about to protest, but his mother's glare silenced his tongue. Bashfully motioning for her to follow him, Ron led her through a series of corridors until they reached a set of two large wooden doors.

'You like to read, Hermione?' he asked, carefully.

'I do, in fact, it's my favorite thing to do,' Hermione replied, smiling. 'My collection grows old at my castle, and I need new things to read.'

Ron opened the library's doors for her and followed her in. Hermione was captivated by the shelves and tables lined with literature.

'Have you read Chaucer?' Ron asked, with curiosity.

She turned to face him. 'Yes, _The Book of the Duchess_ is among my favorites.'

Ron smiled sheepishly. 'You're welcome to anything that suits your reading needs,' he said, turning to go.

Hermione kissed him on the cheek. 'Thank you, Ron,' she replied.

He blushed. 'You're welcome,' he mumbled, stumbling as he hastened through the doors.

Ginny found him meandering around the various corridors in the castle. 'What happened to you?' she asked.

'Nothing,' he replied, trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

'You're as red as your hair! But no matter, that is nothing of consequence. There is something more important to be attended to,' she sighed. 'Your friend, Prince Harry, is visiting.'

'When?' Ron asked.

'Why, he's here now!' she exclaimed.

Ginny figured that she shouldn't mention what had happened prior to meeting Ron in the corridor. She had met Prince Harry (of the royal family Potter) a few times, but Ron had always ensured the fleeting nature of her encounters by excluding Ginny from all games he played with Harry. Ginny had received Harry this time and he looked a lot more distinguished than he had years ago.

His hair was messy, perhaps due to the rain storm, and the things in front of his eyes were speckled with water. They hid his normally brilliant green eyes, and he was a lot taller and lankier than she remembered. He proceeded to dry the lenses and greet Ginny properly

'Good evening, Ginny,' he said, kissing her hand. Ginny curtsied.

'As to you,' she returned. 'What exactly do you call these things?'

Ginny lifted the lenses from his face, and he blinked to mitigate the sudden blurriness. She tried them on, but they disoriented her.

'Glasses,' he replied. 'They correct my vision.'

'Hm, interesting. Can't you see without them?'

'No, I cannot.'

Harry followed Ginny around in an attempt to retrieve his glasses. She wasn't prepared to give them back. He reached out to grab them, but lost his footing and fell on top of Ginny.

She laughed and placed them back on his face. Ginny could see his green eyes a lot more clearly now. Luckily her brother wasn't around to mess things up.

'Thanks,' he started, but Ginny silenced him with her lips.

'Why is he visiting on such a terrible night?' Ron asked, shaking Ginny from her thoughts.

She shrugged. 'I do not know. But he is waiting,' she said, leading him back toward his friend.

Harry greeted Ron when they came into sight. Ginny yawned and picked up her dress as she ascended the stairs. 'Good night, Harry,' she said, with a wink.

'Good night, Ginny,' he replied, and Ron looked frantically between the two.

'Are you…' Ron started to say, but couldn't finish his thought.

'Not for you to worry,' Harry said quickly. 'I thought we might practice our archery skills.'

Ron shrugged. 'Stay for the night and we shall practice tomorrow.'

A servant led Harry to his own room, and Ron retired for the night. Meanwhile, Queen Molly would not let the opportunity slip through her fingers to test the tired, unsuspecting Hermione.

'You should get some sleep, dear,' Queen Molly said, drawing Hermione's attention away from the library.

'I should,' Hermione replied, yawning as if on cue. 'It's been a long day.'

'I can imagine. I'll take you there myself,' she said, smiling.

Before she went to the library, she had instructed her servants to set up the twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds with a single pea inserted inside of the massive bed. When they arrived, Queen Molly ushered Hermione in.

'I hope you'll find the sleeping arrangement just fine,' she said. 'There's a ladder to reach the top. Sleep well.'

Hermione nodded and closed the door behind her. 'That's an awfully strange bed,' she commented, but climbed the ladder anyway.

Everyone but Hermione had arrived to breakfast on time. When she had arrived, her hair was sticking every which way and she wore a pained expression. Ron looked at his mother and knew instantly what she had put her through.

'How did you sleep, dear?' she asked Hermione.

'Not very well at all!' Hermione complained, taking a seat. 'I tossed and turned the entire night! My back especially hurts. I feel like I've been sleeping on a rock!'

Queen Molly smiled. 'I'm sorry to hear that, but it appears that you are really are a princess.'

Hermione's eyes widened. 'I already told you I was a princess!' she said, horrified. Ron took it upon himself to explain things.

'A pea was inserted into one of the mattresses. If you weren't a princess, you wouldn't feel it through all the layers,' he said.

'But why?'

Queen Molly answered. 'My son has searched far and wide and he cannot find a princess he likes. I wanted to make sure you were telling the truth before he decided to marry you..'

Hermione turned to Ron. 'Is that the truth?' she asked him.

Ron nodded sheepishly. 'Most of them cannot read or write, or are clumsy.'

'Aren't you going to ask me?'

'Ask you what?'

'To marry you?'

He cleared his throat. 'Will you marry me, Princess Hermione?' he asked, turning red.

She pressed her lips happily against his. 'Yes!' she exclaimed.

Queen Molly clapped happily. _Now just for Ginny_.

'Speaking of getting married,' Harry announced, bringing the attention of everyone sitting around the table on him. 'Ginny has accepted my proposal of marriage.'

Queen Molly grew even more ecstatic. King Arthur gave his blessings to both couples, and they were wed the following day. The pea was placed in the library for all to see.

And they lived happily ever after. The end."

"How'd you like the story, kids?" Ron asked, feeling satisfied with his story.

Rose spoke first. "Everyone fell in love within a day? That's unrealistic," she commented.

"It's a bloody fairytale! It's _supposed_ to be unrealistic! It's for entertainment purposes," he replied, frowning.

"They're supposed to teach morals too," Albus added. "I didn't hear any."

"You're eight years old."

"Do you even know Chaucer's works?" Rose asked.

"Well… no…"

"That didn't even sound like medieval times," Lily said. "Did you do any research?"

"You're six years old… what do you know?"

"We know a lot," Hugo said, assertively.

James even imputed his thoughts. "I don't think you accurately represented my parents, at all," he said, frowning.

"Well, let's say that they did a lot more than kissing," Ron said.

"He means sex," James translated to Rose and Albus, who giggled.

"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed. "The kids are being unruly!"

Hermione appeared in the doorway momentarily. "What's wrong now?" she asked, sighing.

"They're bombarding me with questions and accusations!" Ron complained. "Whose idea was it to have a sleeping over thing?"

"Harry and Ginny of course," she replied, shaking her head. "What story did you read them?"

"The Princess and the Pea," Rose spoke up. "But he inserted our family into it."

"Who was the princess?" Hermione asked.

"You," said Albus. "Uncle Ron was the prince. My parents were the other couple."

"Is that so?" she commented, and Ron turned a little red.

"Yeah, but it was completely unrealistic," said Lily. "No one falls in love in less than a day."

"True," Hermione said. "But it's a story for a reason."

Ron nodded in agreement. "It's time for bed now, so get to your rooms," he instructed.

Rose brought Lily along to her room and the boys headed to Hugo's room. Hermione saw to it that the boys were actually going to sleep. Ron joined her in the hallway before retiring to bed himself.

"The princess, huh?" Hermione said, giggling.

"_I_ thought it was romantic," Ron replied, shrugging.

"Mhm, well, at least it's a happy ending."

"I'd say. Everything's a lot better that way."

"That's why it's called a happy ending," Hermione mused. "Guess who's on story duty tomorrow?"

Ron sighed. _Obviously me_.


End file.
